I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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