I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
