Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
