ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
