I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
