Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
