I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
