i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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