Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
