He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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