I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
