this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
