she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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