Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
