just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's Friday. Sex?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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