Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
