So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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