we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
