Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
