there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
