i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
