my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize