My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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