eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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