He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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