im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
