It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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