Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
