My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize