You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
