I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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