How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
