That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
