epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
