u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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