besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
