i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
