i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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