I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
