we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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