So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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