thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
