she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
