I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
