So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
