I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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