He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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