garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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