Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
