I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
