i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
