i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
