We won't sleep together?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
