Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
