My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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