just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
