I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
