My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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