You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
