the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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