how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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